i liked the way i felt when i read this yesterday;
i hope you do, too.

via.

this date didn't end before eight.

remember how i told you guys about the
planned picnic in a parking garage?
unfortunately,
the weather didn't permit such an extravagant outing...

so instead, we built a fort.
with the use of a few blankets,
a few chairs,
and a few christmas lights...
our night looked a little bit like this:




and yes,
cupcakes,
soda pop
and pb&j's were on the menu.
and my new handy-dandy little picnic basket
made a rather cute accessory,
(if i do say so myself)

___

if any night could be too fun,
january 25, 2010 would have to be on the list.

& thanks mr. tanner thompson, you were a cute date.
and i think your name "tanner thompson" is even cuter.

and pps. this date didn't end before 8.

___

2010 is still proving to be wonderful.

and the half of me's all about apathy

when it comes to my 12 page paper due on thursday.

define apathetic (a-pə-ˈthe-tik):

marked by a lack of interest; a state of indifference.
complete lack of motivation.


define kelsie, as of January 26th, 9:29 AM:

apathetic.

happy.

today i spent some time talking to a really special person;
he asked me something that caught me slightly off guard,
"why are you so happy?"

i thought for a moment, and could only respond with the following:

i went to buy a dress on saturday,
and ended up with a three dollar picnic basket instead.
it came with a red and white checkered bow.

and i get to use this picnic basket tomorrow,
on a picnic in a parking garage, even though it's the middle of winter.

this picnic basket will carry peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,
and maybe a soda pop or two;
probably a couple of cupcakes.

and that, i guess, happens to be one of the many, many reasons
i am happy.

photo via.

Advantage #88 of Friendship.

kels + ky & sar+ the buried life
amounts to love.

and when you watch the preview above,
you'll probably cry.
just like we did.
(advantage #89 of friendship:
i don't have to cry over silly things alone)
____

so we started talking,
and got to thinking:
what are on our own lists?

kels:
-catch a firefly
-play tic tac toe with zac efron
-fly a kite at six in the morning
-drive across the golden gate bridge
-make an outfit out of bubbles


kylie:
-meet michael cera
-shower in a waterfall
-walk through a car wash
-have a paint fight
-sleep in a cherry orchard


sara:
-ride in a hot air balloon
-join a book club
-go to the airport and buy a ticket for the next flight,
with no agenda whatsoever
-be in a movie
-sew a wedding dress

& that's when we started to think a little bit harder...

what if we devoted this upcoming summer to documenting
our own lives in attempts of trying to accomplish some
of our own "things to do before we die"?

luckily - sara happens to be a film major,
with some major filming & photography skills
(check her out here)
and is embarking on her capstone project within the
next few months;
which means... funding may just be possible.

___

i just knew 2010 would be great.

and ps. while we're talking about it...
whats on your list?

6 Months Shy.

I'm six months shy of my 21st birthday today,
(happy half-birthday to me!)


And I can't believe how old that sounds.


Since I happen to be the youngest amongst my group of friends,
(except one: Mr. Lewis, you beat me by three days...)
I guess I didn't think I would feel old,
since everyone else I know
is already one step ahead turning 22 in twenty-ten,


but.
this all still sounds old.


and it makes me wonder...


When I was 15, I was sure a lot of things would have happened by now.
A lot, a lot, a lot.
And a lot has happened, but I was 110% positive,
absolutely convinced
that I would have stopped day dreaming by now, too.


however, that still goes unchecked.
because i still do.
before i fall asleep at night,
or
before a date.
or even during class when my thoughts wander
from the pages of my textbook...




and I'm afraid I still will, [daydream, that is]
even when I'm the disastrous old age of 21.

i hope that's okay.

(photo via)

I'd Like to Make a Toast to Love, Please.

Something caught the corner of my eye that made me smile

during dinner on Saturday night.

The couple next to our table ordered five cheesecakes.
and that's it.
and if you've ever been to the cheesecake factory,
you know how huge their cheesecakes are.

yet, they still ordered not 1, not 3...
but five.
and then halfway through,
they ordered a milkshake to share, too.

in honest-to-goodness awe of the situation,
my dear friend kylie and i came up with
3 main reasons why they were there in the first place,
(and we're really good at that sort-of thing, too)

1. he didn't get the job, and she was taking him
out to cheer him up. instead of ordering dinner,
she ordered 5 desserts for them to share,
just to make him smile.

2. it was their first date and he wanted
to make a really big impression;
so he took her to dinner just to order desserts.

or

3. they just happen to be in love,
and in love with cheesecake, too.


i noticed that they spent the rest of their time
passing the cheesecakes back and forth to each other,
rotating mainly between
oreo chocolate brownie and lemon rasberry.
(only managing to maybe eat 1/4th of everything else.)

& i imagine that it would have been the most
wonderful date in the world for them;
but for me, it was even more wonderful to see.
_____

once the couple left, we made a toast to love.
because love is out there, and it's real,
and it's everywhere.
and sometimes, i forget that.
_____

so you could say my weekend was wonderful.
we dressed up because we didn't have any reason to,
and we made toasts to love because
we were reminded to believe in it.
& i think that made me so happy, i even forgot to stop smiling.

cupcake cafe.

attention provo-utah-cupcake-go-ers.
there is a new cupcake cafe, and it's the cutest.

go play and eat a cupcake, and you can bet
you'll probably run into me while you're there.

(photo via)

A Soul Generated By Love.

Considering that most of us will catch a break this upcoming Monday, as we take time off from school, work and the other stresses of life while we celebrate Martin Luther King Day,
I thought the quote below was especially fitting given the recent tragedy in Haiti.


"Everyone can be great, because anybody can serve.
You don't have to have a college degree to serve.
You don't have to make your
subject and verb agree to serve.
You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'm sure most of you were devastated as you heard
about the earthquake in Haiti,
and as you heard the death tolls rising to over 40 to 50 thousand,
in addition to the three million mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children
who have been injured, orphaned or homeless.

i was able to catch a second of the evening news before i went to bed last night,
and saw a videotape of children crying as they
carried their mothers and fathers from the rubble who did not survive.

as heartbreaking and devastating as it was,
there is still good to be seen.

As my friend Jalene pointed out earlier today:
(despite politics,
despite disputes,
despite the chaos,
despite the costs,)
people and nations all around the world
are doing what they can, and lending out a reaching hand to
those who need it most.

and although i, too, live far away from the devastation, this
tragedy has hit close to home, and i felt like i had to do what i could too.

below i listed several causes that you may be interested in donating to:



LDS Humanitarian Services
Center of Hope
Doctors Without Borders
American Red Cross
International Rescue Committee



and as Martin Luther King pointed out:
you don't need much to serve,
Just "a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love."

i wish you all the most wonderful weekend.

(photo via msnbc.com)

a streak of idealism.

the other day my dad so kindly pointed out over the phone,
"kels. you're imperfect."

but before i could argue or defend myself, he concluded:

"you're just like me. you have a streak of idealism in you."

back up twenty seconds before that:

i had been quite unhappy with a particular situation, but in a matter of 10 seconds, my dad nailed it.

i'm an idealist.

isn't it strange how these epiphany's come about and all of a sudden you make so much more sense to yourself?

example.
i had a halloween get-together dinner a few months ago, and no one, and i mean no one was allowed into my apartment until all the candles had been lit, all the plates were perfectly set, or until i finished burning the spooky sounds cd so something eerie could be playing in the background.

i even bought gross gummy eyeballs to put in our drinks.

so why did i do this? why? did people really care that the cupcakes were to be decorated with mini headstone cookies, or that there were matching reeses pieces and MnMs on the table?
the answer is: no.
in fact, if anything, more people complained about they icky eyeball taste in the drinks and the creepy screaming baby in the background.


but it didn't matter to me, nope.
because the the. fact. of. the. matter. was. (and still is):

i'm an idealist.

like a martha stewart, in a way.

and unfortunately, sometimes and some days
(as great as my motivations tend to be)
it can also cause a few problems;
i get too stressed or too frustrated with myself (or with others) when things are less than...
ideal.

after another 30 minutes of conversing, my dad left me with this wise advise:
"kels, strive for excellence, not for perfection; you're going to give yourself a heart attack if you don't."

and for the most part, that thought has really helped me since.
and just in case there's another one or two "martha stewarts" out there (just like me!)
i thought i might as well share it with you guys, too.

and last but not least,
i also want to say thanks, dad,
(if you ever happen to read this)
i'll add a few years on to my life because of your wise advice, and ps.
i don't always admit it, but i'm really glad that i turned out a lot like you.

playing it safe.

i wandered in and out of bookstores this past friday night,
hoping that i'd be able to find something romantic to read over the weekend.


instead, i found this four leaf clover pressed between these pages.

so what did i do?
i made a wish and counted to ten and then i made a wish again.

...

and then i went and wrote all of my predictions for 2010,
sealed it with a kiss,
and put it in a martinellis bottle and dropped it off from a ten foot story garage.

...

and then i ate a cupcake.

i hope all your weekends were equally as lovely!

ps.
last week i mentioned that i can just feel
a difference this year;
well friends, change is already on the horizon.
for a long, long time i've had this thought in the back of my mind,
but i've been too afraid to do anything about it.
but.
the more i've been thinking about it, the more i realize
that's not what life is for,
and that's definitely not what i was meant for;
because as mark twain once wrote to remind people like me:

"twenty years from now you will be more dissapointed
by the things that you didn't do..."

so, with a lot of papers and a lot of information in hand,
i just walked out of my academic counselors office and have made
the official decision to apply for this school in the fall,
and in the meantime...
i've switched majors...
again.

oh, the woes of being 20.
i'm happy,
i am blessed,
but i'm not entirely sure what is going to come next.
sounds about right, don't you think?

little-long-drives.

sometimes, i like to take what i call "little-long-drives." it's the kind of drive that makes you feel like your destination will find itself for you.

i usually take these "little-long-drives" when i feel a bit quiet. or maybe just a little bit lonely. many say the remedy to loneliness is by surrounding yourself with people, but that usually doesn't work for me. when i feel lonely, i think: i'd rather really be lonely. perhaps loneliness makes itself less present when others aren't reminding you that its there in the first place.

and that's when i find myself on these drives... i think about a lot of things, and selfishly, i think a lot about me. i think: maybe this is why we are always taught to love ourselves, so that when i'm by myself, i can become more of a friend than a stranger.

i like who i am, and sometimes, i am lucky enough to love who that person is too.

but then other times, i second guess this confidence. i'm vulnerable and emotional. my feelings still get hurt, even when i like to pretend that they don't. my guard still goes up when someone i know has let me down. i've hurt people who i love, and yet i still have a hard time admitting when i'm wrong...

but then... somewhere in the middle of that messy pile of thoughts, i am reminded of who i have become in only 20 years of life. i'm even a little bit proud to be me and better yet - to be friends with me. i'm proud to be a part (even if it's only a small part) of things and of people who are great. and i'm happy to even be here for the ride.

and that's usually when...during that little-long-drive to the middle of nowehere... i figure out where i'd like to turn next.

(photo via)

M as in Max.

"i like you because of this and that,
because of what you don't and do,
but mostly because of who you are
through and through.

when the rain falls hard,
i hold an umbrella for you;
and when the future gets foggy,
you hold hopeful signs for me.

when the rain pitter-patters on the roof,
and when the daffodils pop,
i like that too.

and i know if i ever got lost at sea,
you would look for me;
even though the ocean is big you would say,
"you're not as lost as you think you are,"
and you would be right.

but sometimes being friends with you
isn't all peaches and cream.
there are days i truly dislike your snippy ways,
and i find the way you truffle
into your shuffles
downright awful
(sometimes you think i'm not too sporty either)

we have flaws
and fizzles
and foibles

but i like your true (and kooky) colors,
and you like my big and moody heart.

i like it when we act like kids on a swing.

we'll be friends until the end of always,
because liking you is a thing that grows and grows,
(even through the hard parts)."
-sandy gingras.

Max has been my best friend since
we were 16 years old,
(and we both turn 21 this year);
we used to sit on the back row
in 11th grade english,
and whisper to each other
throughout class.

you could say i really like M as in Max,
as in my best friend Max.
and most days (like every day)
i really love him too.

Facebook Status: Deactivated.

one goal of 2010 has already been accomplished.

and trust me, i know all the "pros" that facebook can bring:
keeping in touch with old friends who
otherwise you'd never hear from,
seeing whats going on with friends and family members
who may live around the world,
etc...
etc...
etc...

but the "cons" outweigh those for now.

for those who may still be interested,
i found these following articles rather amusing,
(and perhaps slightly persuasive)

1. How Not to be Hated on Facebook.
"If you create a group called "Lost my cell phone; need your numbers!," I will join, but I won't give you my number."

2. Facebook is Now a Part of Your Relationship.
"Emily and Michael Weise-King were in complete agreement about their status: they decided to change themselves from "engaged" to "married" in the middle of their February 2009 wedding reception."

3. Facebook Made Me Do It.
"That's why I accept all sorts of people I haven't seen in 20 years and couldn't pick out of a line-up. I refuse to have one less friend than my arch nemesis from college."

4. 25 Things I Didn't Want to Know About You.

#8. I eat gummy bears by tearing them
limb from limb and eating their heads last.

#15. I like to tape my thumbs to my hands
to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.

#16. A horse once fell over while I was riding it.

5. 25 MORE Things I Didn't Want to Know About You.
#7. My grandmother once told me I was her favorite. I don't think she meant it.
#8. When I die, I want a steaming hot Reuben
sandwich shoved in my mouth during the open-casket part of the funeral.
#25. I'm writing this list for sympathy and attention.

with that being mentioned...

goodbye facebook,
goodbye annoying notifications,
goodbye ridiculous news feeds,
goodbye life-wasting social network.
your purely-meant-for-stalking-ways
will not be missed by me.

Cha Cha Chaboom.

my trip to the southern part of the hemisphere was the vacation of a lifetime;

(even with the sunburn, flu, ear infection, and hanging out in a hotel room - while in paradise - reading for 3 days)



the pictures above literally capture what my life looked like for two weeks,
and i started to miss it by the time i took my seat on the plane.

the one good thing about landing back in freezing cold
(with freezing snow) utah,
was the fact that even though i had to say goodbye to a
part of my family in new zealand,
i was welcomed home with my second family among friends,
who made a wonderful welcome home dinner.
(sara, i even liked the lasagna, i promise)
& this was definitely a blessing in disguise considering the only items in our fridge were a few pickles and an empty carton of milk.

and as for the first few days of twenty-ten,
is it just me or do things just feel different?
something great is going to happen this year -
i just know it!

ps. cha cha chaboom is something i heard in a song tonight.
and i really loved the song.