a baby on the way

August 18, 2016

A few months ago, as I was walking down the hall at work and into the kitchen to grab what was probably my seventh diet coke for the day, I felt something inside that I hadn't felt before. It caught me off guard because it seemed so sudden and out of nowhere. A few days later, as Max and I sat quietly in the temple, the same thoughts and feelings came suddenly, and I felt the same way I had felt just a few days earlier at work. It was something I had occasionally thought and prayed about, but all of a sudden it was constant and didn't leave. And without sharing too much of those special experiences I have jotted down somewhere in my journal, I just knew that there was a spirit in heaven ready to come down to our little family. Within a few weeks, Max came home to pick me up for lunch one afternoon and the first thing I did was hand him the positive pregnancy tests (I honestly took six that morning, just to be sure!) - I wish in hindsight I had filmed the entire thing because words can't explain it. It was one of the happiest moments in my life.

Since then, being pregnant has been a roller coaster of ups and downs and everything in between. If I were writing this post any time during the first trimester, I'd probably share that I had been hit with a 2x4 of nausea that just never went away. Morning sickness was a beast for me. I was sick all day, all night, throwing up into plastic bags I stashed on the side of my bed, (I can't throw up in a bathroom, it's so gross to me), and I cried a lot. I remember going on nighttime walks with Max and having to find bushes to throw up into when cars would drive by. Luckily my Doctor eventually prescribed me Diclegis, which became my saving grace. That and peppermint oil seemed to be the only things that helped me survive the first trimester, which at the time, I never thought would end.

Now that I'm nearing the end of my second trimester, there isn't as much to report. No weird food cravings, and no food aversions (at least not anymore!). The first time I felt the baby kick tied with the first time I got to hear his heartbeat. Unless you've experienced it, it's hard to describe, but it's the most amazing thing in the world. I'm definitely more emotional than I've ever been, a McDonald's commercial can make me weep (the one where the Dad gives a Big Mac to his daughter on her wedding day.... don't judge me) -- But if there is anyone out there who is about as kind and patient and understanding as one can possibly be, that's Max - whose both figuratively and literally held my hand through everything over the last six months.

Most of all, I cannot express how much happiness this growing baby has brought into our life in just a few short months. My heart feels extra full always, knowing that I'm already a mother in some ways, and that my life will never be entirely my own again. Sure, there are plenty of times it's overwhelming, and I have to ask Max or my parents or even my friends to remind me that I can do this, (and they all deserve the biggest hugs in the world because I couldn't do it without any one of them!), but most of the time, in fact all of the time - it's just this feeling of love that doesn't ever go away.

the end of summer

August 8, 2016

Max and I treated this last summer as a grand finale in a lot of ways, knowing that with medical school starting in the fall, and our baby boy arriving this winter, our lives would drastically be changing for the better by the end of the year, but drastically changing nevertheless. Neither of us worked for a minute, and we spent our entire summer traveling and eating out and sleeping in and crossing off every last bucket list item I could think of. I don't know how any other summer will ever be able to compare!

Now that school has started, our routine has too. Max comes home every day with an hours worth of stories about meeting new classmates, dissecting his first cadaver and how great his professors are going to be. Our new apartment feels more like home every time I walk in the door, which is a real feat since leaving our first apartment in Orem made me cry more than once. The baby usually kicks as I read in bed late at night, and though I didn't think it would happen this quickly, this new chapter in our life isn't feeling as new or foreign anymore. It's all beginning to feel like home.

So here are some pictures I quickly grabbed off my phone to post of our grand summer finale. It was so, so good to us.

My first adult purchase (after a house of course, and perhaps an upgrade 
from my slowly dying honda civic, will definitely be a boat)

Wallowa Lake never really changes, (mini-golf tournaments, talent shows, mourning over nonexistent dole whips, etc) except to say that every year our family seems to grows bigger and closer. I'm lucky to have cousins that double as best friends.

Thanks to Mandie, the curse of the car is real and has been passed onto me. RIP Ford Fusion.

I now live five minutes down the street from a Trader Joes. 
I honestly wrote this down as a blessing in my gratitude journal one night.

Hell has to be eternally packing and moving and unpacking boxes.

Saying goodbye to the Cherry Hill 1st Ward Primary after 3 1/2 years left me in tears. I don't know if that's because I love those children so much, or because I have to start attending Sunday School again.

Fourth of July always remains one of my favorite holidays
(though RIP Republican Party)

And finally, though this has nothing really to do with summer, here is a DARLING video of our little friend Nora who I can never get enough of.

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