T-minus 15 days... 'til Valentines Day.

unless you love someone.

I love ee cummings,
I love having my parents in town,
I love a cupcake run for breakfast,
(which is totally okay on V-day)
and I love being a not-so-secret admirer.

Happy Valentines Day!

via

you're the apple of my eye

Considering 70% of my posts have something to do with love, it shouldn't be surprising that it's something I probably think about more often than not -- Valentines Day is obviously no exception.

I've heard love defined by many people in many different ways, and I guess that makes sense because the way I've defined love has changed from the time I was fifteen, or eighteen, and even now at twenty-one. Maybe it's because love will always mean more to me the next year, than it did the year before.

But out of all the different ways I've thought about love, or have been told about love, the following idea about the words "I love you" has always made the most sense to me:

Because love is as much a verb as it is a noun, the phrase “I love you” is much more a promise of behavior and commitment than it is an expression of feeling...you can’t “fall out of love,” because love is something you decide.-Elder Lynn G. Robbins, "Agency & Love in Marriage"


I think this is perfect.
It means that love isn't fleeting, temporary or even conditional. It means that when things get hard or when I have gray hair, love won't somehow disappear. Those words don't just mean fireworks or boxes of chocolate. They promise something. In fact, they promise a lot. They promise that at the end of the day, things will always be okay. That love is going to take work, but that it is something we will make work day after day. That love is going to be about taking care of each other, even if that means doing things you really don't like to do, (and for me that will probably mean being willing to make something for dinner other than turkey and cheese sandwiches.)

All of that is a lot greater than whatever I had originally imagined love to be at fifteen. Or eighteen.

But it's what I like to think love is at 21.


So for Valentines Day this year, I will spend my time with my mom and dad. And we will watch An Affair to Remember, and my mom will make fun of something dramatic the actress says, and my dad will clear his throat (because that's what he does instead of crying) when Kerry Grant realizes why she couldn't meet him at the top of the Empire State building.


And then my mom might dance during the credits (not unusual).


And then I will go to bed, eating the rest of my Forrero Rochers, thinking about how grateful I am for two parents who love me and who love each other. I'll think about how happy I am for my friends who have found love in their own life, and how excited I am for the love I am going to find one day, too.


(And then I will watch this engagement video over and over again,
because it's darling,

and because I want to copy cat it!)


Happy Valentines Day everyone!



photo via

valentines day homework.

In lieu of Valentines Day next week, my all-time favorite professor-ever-ever-ever-ever x 10 gave us this homework assignment:

Kiss somebody as if you had never kissed them before.



(I. About. Died.)

He reasoned that since he's at least 50 years our senior (he's 71) and probably has enough experience at this point to understand "a little bit more about life,"
he concluded with us in class that there is nothing more important than to experience what we all spend so much time reading and writing and talking about:
And that is love.

He quoted Mr. Cummings (kissing homework and ee cummings in one day? I almost fell off my chair)

And read the following:

i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go
you go

...

Here is the deepest secret that nobody knows

...

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart




My heart nearly exploded.


And on my way out the door, I considered writing a letter to this professor just to tell him how much I love this class, and in a very important way,
how much more I love life thanks to him, too.

Because truthfully, I doubt I'll get around to kissing someone as if it were my first time this weekend, (my first real kiss kind of cursed my luck since age 15)

But the more I've thought about my 9:30 class yesterday morning, the more I realized that I left at 10:45 with a little bit more love for love.

And that was the perfect homework assignment for Valentines day.

"In My Woody I Would Take You Everywhere I Go"

reasons why i think i will look back and end up loving
valentines day this year:
(even in lack of a valentine)

reason 1. i spent last night at a friends reception.
she looked beautiful, he was beautiful.
and seeing them in love was beautiful, too.

reason 2. i ended up running into the first boy i fell in "love" with (at least that's what we were convinced it was as freshmen in high school). and seeing each other for the first time in years and having the chance to talk about that night on the fence when we were fifteen (and now having the chance to laugh about it) made me smile the rest of the night. and even this morning too.

reason 3. because i think i ate 190,842 chocolate kisses within an hour, and i spent my time planning and imagining what my wedding will look like one day before falling asleep last night.

reason 4.
after waking up this morning, i had small conversation hearts for breakfast.
and i only eat the white ones.
and with a bag all to myself, i got to eat all of them.

reason 5.
because i have and will continue to listen to my current all-time favorite love song for the rest of the weekend:
surfer girl by the beach boys.

and last but not least, reason #6 (because 6 happens to be my lucky number):
right now i am packing for a mini-vacation,
to a destination only 30 minutes away.
but considering me and my other half will go date-less this weekend, we will spend tonight ordering room service, watching love movies and eating a little mermaid cake.

and to think that i kept telling everyone i don't have a valentines this year -
i have plenty.
because i have so many things to be in love with.

happy valentines day
to each and every one of you!