you're the apple of my eye

Considering 70% of my posts have something to do with love, it shouldn't be surprising that it's something I probably think about more often than not -- Valentines Day is obviously no exception.

I've heard love defined by many people in many different ways, and I guess that makes sense because the way I've defined love has changed from the time I was fifteen, or eighteen, and even now at twenty-one. Maybe it's because love will always mean more to me the next year, than it did the year before.

But out of all the different ways I've thought about love, or have been told about love, the following idea about the words "I love you" has always made the most sense to me:

Because love is as much a verb as it is a noun, the phrase “I love you” is much more a promise of behavior and commitment than it is an expression of feeling...you can’t “fall out of love,” because love is something you decide.-Elder Lynn G. Robbins, "Agency & Love in Marriage"


I think this is perfect.
It means that love isn't fleeting, temporary or even conditional. It means that when things get hard or when I have gray hair, love won't somehow disappear. Those words don't just mean fireworks or boxes of chocolate. They promise something. In fact, they promise a lot. They promise that at the end of the day, things will always be okay. That love is going to take work, but that it is something we will make work day after day. That love is going to be about taking care of each other, even if that means doing things you really don't like to do, (and for me that will probably mean being willing to make something for dinner other than turkey and cheese sandwiches.)

All of that is a lot greater than whatever I had originally imagined love to be at fifteen. Or eighteen.

But it's what I like to think love is at 21.


So for Valentines Day this year, I will spend my time with my mom and dad. And we will watch An Affair to Remember, and my mom will make fun of something dramatic the actress says, and my dad will clear his throat (because that's what he does instead of crying) when Kerry Grant realizes why she couldn't meet him at the top of the Empire State building.


And then my mom might dance during the credits (not unusual).


And then I will go to bed, eating the rest of my Forrero Rochers, thinking about how grateful I am for two parents who love me and who love each other. I'll think about how happy I am for my friends who have found love in their own life, and how excited I am for the love I am going to find one day, too.


(And then I will watch this engagement video over and over again,
because it's darling,

and because I want to copy cat it!)


Happy Valentines Day everyone!



photo via