try.

I'm not old enough to play baseball or football. I'm not eight yet. My mom told me when you start baseball, you aren't going to be able to run that fast because you had an operation. I told Mom I wouldn't need to run that fast. When I play baseball, I'll just hit them out of the park. Then I'll be able to walk.
-Edward J. McGrath, Jr


When I began college, there were things I was afraid of trying because I was afraid of failing. But about a year or so ago, I changed my major (debated on changing schools) because after three years of being "comfortable" with what I was doing, I wanted to challenge myself to try something I loved even more -- even if that meant risking failure (and an extra year or two of school). I was stressed. Stressed, anxious and to be honest, doubtful. I had to rearrange my plans for graduation, I had to switch over to an entirely new class load and become familiar with a whole new curriculum.
Yes, doubtful is the right word. And stressed.




A few weeks ago, after completing the prerequisite courses and working on a lot of other projects, interviews, essays and assignments for this field, I finally finished. This meant that all I had to do for the next few weeks was wait. Even then, I would ask myself over and over, "Why? Why? Why?" - I wondered what I'd do if I didn't get in and what that would mean... (another 18 years of college, I convinced myself). In a nutshell, why was I brave enough to risk so much?

Well, I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach -- today was the day I would receive my letter. I almost tripped out the door in a rush to open the envelope and read the verdict:





I was accepted. I nearly fainted, but instead I just cried (luckily no one was around). And when I arrived to class (fifteen minutes late) a friend pulled out the story above (about the boy playing baseball) for me to read on his computer.

It was all so fitting.

And to be honest, I've never been so happy with an accomplishment. Even my first kiss didn't feel this good.

So naturally, I thought I'd blog about it.
Because today is such a good day,
And because today I'm so unbelievably glad and grateful I tried.


(ps. turns out i won't be 40 when i graduate after all!)