We've officially entered the years where only the upper half
of our tree is decorated thanks to Charlie ;)


I don't know if there was any child more mesmerized by the zoo lights than Charlie. If it hadn't been 21 degrees the night we went, we would have tried to stay longer but I lost eight years off my life that night freezing to death.

These are the only pictures I have from Thanksgiving in Arizona
where it was 70 degrees (!!!) I'll take it every year please.

Charlie asleep on Christmas Eve. Is there anything sweeter?

The holidays this year were welcome with especially wide open arms as Max finished up his night shifts right before the break, and we finally got two weeks worth of time to spend together as a family of three. We spent our Thanksgiving down in Arizona with family, and our Christmas together at home. I couldn't have asked for anything more this season, besides maybe snow, a car that didn't break down Christmas Eve, and a little bit more sleep ;) But even then, this season was full of loved ones and memories and service and trying our best to remember why we celebrate it in the first place. 

I don't talk a lot about my testimony online, but as Oprah would say, one of the things I know for sure is that we have a Savior who lives. A Savior who was born in a manger, for you and for me, and for everyone who has ever lived. Through the highs and lows of life, most especially the lows, I have felt His love for me, which is greater than any possible gift I could ask for.

what i've been reading lately...

 “Know this one great truth: you are in control of your own life. You get one and only one chance to live, and life is passing you by. Stop beating yourself up, and dang it, stop letting others do it too. Stop accepting less than you deserve...You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.”

“Your life is supposed to be a journey from one unique place to another; it’s not supposed to be a merry-go-round that brings you back to the same spot over and over again.” 

“You are more than you have become.” 

-Girl Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis (these quotes might sound repetitive in nature, but gosh dang it this book spoke to me)



I don't have a quote to share, but I just wanted to add my two cents. Crazy Rich Asians was entertaining enough that I read the second book in the series, China Rich Girlfriend. Unfortunately, I kind of lost interest after that (the only story line worth reading imo was Astrid and Charlie). I also have to say this is one of the RARE cases I liked the movie SO MUCH MORE than the book. That wedding scene though... I was crying.


-Crazy Rich Asians, Kevin Kwan





“Bella can't bring herself to talk about these things, though. Her grief is larger than words."

“Months later, in a different world, Nechuma will look back on this evening, the last Passover when they were nearly all together, and wish with every cell in her body that she could relive it. She will remember the familiar smell of the gefilte, the chink of silver on porcelain, the taste of parsley, briny and bitter on her tongue. She will long for the touch of Felicia's baby-soft skin, the weight of Jakob's hand on hers beneath the table, the wine-induced warmth in the pit of her belly that begged her to believe that everything might actually turn out all right in the end. She will remember how happy Halina had looked at the piano after their meal, how they had danced together, how they all spoke of missing Addy, assuring each other that he'd be home soon. She will replay it all, over and over again, every beautiful moment of it."

-We Were the Lucky Ones, Georgia Hunter

two years old.

Over the past few weeks leading up to Charlie's second birthday, I've thought a lot about what I saw someone post online a few years ago. To be honest, I can't remember who it was who wrote it, or where it had been posted or when. But what I do remember is that it was a mom, posting pictures of her children, captioned with the C.S. Lewis quote, "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." 

Her post went into further detail, saying something to the effect that she didn't know how the future could top the first few years of her children's life. When I had read that, though at the time I didn't have any children of my own, it just kind of stuck out to me. To have a period of time in your life be so special, you wonder how anything will ever be that good again? And though I guess I could slightly relate in other ways, or with other chapters of life I had been in, it was hard to fully understand what this mom was trying to say ... until I had a child of my own.

And here we are. The little love of my life turning two. And that's all I can think about. I can't imagine how anything could ever be better than what the first two years with Charlie have been, (though deep down I still have a feeling C.S. Lewis is right). Even then, I'd relive a thousand April 2008s, October 2010s, and January 2013s (HA for real these were some of the worst months of my life), JUST to have these two years with Charlie all over again. They've been everything to me.

So Happy Birthday Charlie Max Bingham! You’ve brought me more happiness than I deserve. I love you forever.

sunday thoughts.

My sister shared this with me, and I liked it so much I thought I'd repost it here:

all things fall

It's hard to believe how fast life goes by these days. Earlier this afternoon I was reading from a journal I kept in college, and I had agonized at 19 how my life was just flying by. Well, if it was true then, it most certainly is true now. I guess maybe that's why I always get sad about getting older. Not because I'm aging (well, partly) but mostly because I really want to soak in all the chapters of life; that's hard to do when in the blink of an eye you're already onto the next one.
Clearly, I'm nostalgic and sentimental to a fault.

Anyway, here are some pictures from the last two months. I've said it before, October is in my top three favorite months of the year. There is ALWAYS something to do, something to make festive, and best of all: it's the prologue to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

First off - Halloween. I was dying. Kids in costumes (mainly Charlie dressing up as Mickey Mouse) might be the death of me. As I'm sure you've heard any new-ish parent declare, holidays with children are a million times better. By the end of the night Charlie had three suckers in his mouth at a time. I'd say Halloween was a hit in his book.

Harry Potter Escape Room. This was so much more fun than I had anticipated. I always say if I could erase my memory of one thing, it would either be the HP books or the Friday Night Lights series, just so I could experience it all over again as if it were the first time.

We had a weekend in Park City with family this year, and I lovvvved going on afternoon walks with Charlie and my dad around town. Another highlight: one night, as everyone watched The Sixth Sense, Ken and I spent two hours watching all those fail videos you can find on Instagram until we literally almost passed out because we were laughing so hard. Once you go down that rabbit hole, it is hard to get out.

My mom is the queen of making everything cute. 

Here she is helping me get ready for a friends dinner.

Witches night out, trips to the pumpkin patch, etc etc etc. Needless to say, we tried to fit in as much as we could while the weather was still decent and the leaves still colorful. I hope all the falls in my life are as happy as this one has been.

the love song of all love songs.

I have always loved this song. 

Ever since I heard Celine Dion and Clive Griffin's version years ago,

I promised myself it would be my wedding song.

Welllll now Michael Buble has just released his cover and I'm dead.

Dead in this case might actually be an understatement.

And even though the music video below isn't a love song necessarily,
(unrequited love? love gone by? does that count?)
His other new song has been on repeat:

drives up the canyon

Fall in Utah is unreal. I remember as a freshman while I attended BYU Hawaii, my roommate and I would buy fall candles and treats during October to make it feel and even smell a little bit more like home. The next few years while living in Provo, we'd ride our bikes down the canyon trail or take fall picnics up near Aspen Grove. As a mom, I have tried to take Charlie on drives (at least as long as he's willing to chill in his car seat) up through Sundance, Snowbird, Millcreek, etc. Even just driving through the Avenues after church a few Sundays ago was beautiful with all the fall-colored leaves blowing through the sidewalks and streets.

Anyway, needless to say, Fall is a favorite in my book, which is why I have some pictures to post.

Let's not forget the mandatory Diet Coke from McDonalds that must accompany me on our drives.

I may have also perfected my Autumn vibes playlist this year, in case anyone is interested:

Superhero // Lauv (um, this music video made me CRY)

Yellow // Coldplay (that's always a given)

Fire & Rain // James Taylor

American Pie // Don McLean

So Long, So Long // Dashboard Confessional 

The Wind // Cat Stevens

Spirit in the Sky // Norman Greenbaum (not kidding, this song has to be played at my funeral. When we signed up for life insurance I told Max I had a funeral game plan and this was it)

Witchcraft // Frank Sinatra

Kiss Me // Ed Sheeran

Stormy Weather // Etta James

American Girl // Luke Sital-Singh

fried chicken friends for life

(You can read this story my mom shared in the Deseret News here. 

I love that they gave my dad photo cred haha)

A few weeks ago I logged onto an old email account and found this email my mom sent to me years ago when she still lived in New Zealand. I had sent her an online news story about a girl who only ate chicken nuggets for like, 17 years straight or something, and this is what she had to say:

Oh Kelsie Lou, that is frightening and it's a lesson for you to learn: it's time to eat like a grown-up. I will be VERY proud of you if you will eat something new each week. I don't want to be a grandmother to malnourished children with scurvy. They will be on the news as the orphans of the arrested woman who only fed her children turkey and cheese. You could get life for that...and if you're in prison you will automatically be excommunicated, your husband will most likely divorce you and you will be homeless when you get out as a ninety year old woman. You will also be penniless. You will end up living in Liberty Park and most likely you will be stabbed to death. So PLEASE, to save yourself these miseries, eat like a grown-up.

In a nutshell that email explains my mom perfectly. She is funny and fun. She isn't afraid to be goofy or silly and always likes to laugh. She is beautiful (inside and out) and nearly all the boys I ever dated mentioned that one or two, or seventeen thousand times. She's literally the world's best cook (I'm not kidding, anything she cooks turns to gold), and she cares about taking care of others. For her birthday she asks us to serve, instead of giving her any gifts. Oh, and she's the best grandma. My dad will have to retire ten years later because everything goes to Charlie these days.

Anyway, this is all just a really long way to say I love my Mother Dearest more than we both love Tim Riggins, fried chicken and white bread combined. She's the best. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

summer 2018

Today was a day where I said a few words under my breath that would've gotten me grounded growing up. I think I had five cans of Diet Coke. Charlie tripped and fell and had his first swollen lip. And finally, while at a splash pad, I unknowingly stood over a water spout and was shocked when water shot up my dress, and as Mandie put it, experienced my first real enema. It was a lot to take in. Literally.

ANYWAY, I'm binge watching Botched (who gets a nose job in a strip mall!?), waiting for Max to finish his rounds at Huntsman (he loves it), and decided I'd get on to write an end of summer post (even though it's still August). So here we are. Here we go. Summer 2018.

Upstate NY:


After a few days in NYC, we went upstate. This was taken on a rainy Sunday in Pennsylvania at the Priesthood Restoration site. While the rest of my family were walking around with our cute sister missionary tour guide, Charlie and I wandered outside. It was both a beautiful and spiritual experience.


Sacred Grove.


Niagra Falls. I lovvvved upstate NY almost as much as the city. It almost makes me wish we lived back east. Maybe during residency? Eh?

Friends Birthday Weekend:


With a few exceptions, this is the last summer a group of our friends are going to be in our twenties. How. Why. When. Did. This. Happen. Age is just a number, I know, I know. But it's insane to think we're all at this stage in life sometimes, or at least when we're together. When we're busy in our own day-to-day lives, our ages make sense. But when we get together we're forever 21.


Please note that Charlie and Willow are only TWO months apart. If I wasn't opposed to Charlie playing football, he'd make a great tight end.


So the "muddy buddies" got together to spend a weekend in St. George which included pedicures and karaoke, bean boozled, too much Fortnite, muddy buddies (of course), and Taco Bell. Unfortunately we never got around to our much anticipated discussion on Brigham Young and polygamy, but maybe next time.

Everything else:

Lots of library trips (visiting Max while he studied for boards), birthdays, splash pads, weekend getaways, concerts, carnivals, fireworks, late nights and early mornings.

Turning 29 was as stressful as turning 26, so I had the following musts on my birthday list: eat muddy buddies, watch Meet Joe Black, go to Ruth's Diner, and skinny dip. Check, check, check, check.

Heaston's only mission was to touch Jared Leto, but it was Jared Leto who ended up touching Heaston.

Lots of JW trips, as always.

I've finally accepted the fact that I will never have a clean house for another 18 years, at least with this little boy around.

And that's a wrap. I can't hardly believe fall is around the corner, but I'd say we're ready for it. 

the difference of a year

July 2017

July 2018

Will someone please send me the science behind HOW it's even possible that so much can change within a year? How did he grow so fast? How did this happen? HOW!! I went from a messy baby who I could easily hold on my hip and who was just learning how to crawl, to this deliberate little tornado who climbs and scales up anything in sight just so he can jump, drive, or roll off. As a mom, I swear I have suffered at least a dozen small heart attacks because of this.

Charlie is 100% boy through and through, and even with all the chaos such a little human can bring, I never could've imagined I would love someone the way I love him.

i shall not pass this way again

• I shall not pass this way again—
• Although it bordered be with flowers,
• Although I rest in fragrant bowers,
• And hear the singing
• Of song-birds winging
• To highest heaven their gladsome flight;
• Though moons are full and stars are bright,
• And winds and waves are softly sighing,
• While leafy trees make low replying;
• Though voices clear in joyous strain
• Repeat a jubilant refrain;
• Though rising suns their radiance throw
• On summer’s green and winter’s snow,
• In such rare splendor that my heart
• Would ache from scenes like these to part;
• Though beauties heighten,
• And life-lights brighten,
• And joys proceed from every pain,—
• I shall not pass this way again.
• Then let me pluck the flowers that blow,
• And let me listen as I go
• To music rare
• That fills the air;
• And let hereafter
• Songs and laughter
• Fill every pause along the way;
• And to my spirit let me say:
• “O soul, be happy; soon ’tis trod,
• The path made thus for thee by God.
• Be happy, thou, and bless His name
• By whom such marvellous beauty came.”
• And let no chance by me be lost
• To kindness show at any cost.
• I shall not pass this way again.
• Then let me now relieve some pain,
• Remove some barrier from the road,
• Or brighten someone’s heavy load;
• A helping hand to this one lend,
• Then turn some other to befriend.
• O God, forgive
• That I now live
• As if I might, sometime, return
• To bless the weary ones that yearn
• For help and comfort every day,—
• For there be such along the way.
• O God, forgive that I have seen
• The beauty only, have not been
• Awake to sorrow such as this;
• That I have drunk the cup of bliss
• Remembering not that those there be
• Who drink the dregs of misery.
• I love the beauty of the scene,
• Would roam again o’er fields so green;
• But since I may not, let me spend
• My strength for others to the end,—
• For those who tread on rock and stone,
• And bear their burdens all alone,
• Who loiter not in leafy bowers,
• Nor hear the birds nor pluck the flowers.
• A larger kindness give to me,
• A deeper love and sympathy;
• Then, O, one day
• May someone say—
• Remembering a lessened pain—
• “Would she could pass this way again.”
• -Eva Rose York

i heart ny

I've delayed writing this post mainly because I have over a hundred pictures to choose from and a million things to say about how much I loved our trip to NY.

Our hotel was directly across the street from Central Park, which is probably why I loved this trip so much more than any other time I've been before. I figured that taking a little one to the city might mean spending more time in a park than out and about, and I'm soo glad we planned plenty of time for that. In my next life I'd like to fall in love on Gapstow Bridge, please and thank you.

The view from Gapstow Bridge. I mean... can you blame me? The night I took this picture will forever be a highlight of my life. It entirely felt straight out of a movie.

Then of course I insisted we stop by to try Momofuku ice cream and I was SORELY disappointed. Overrated is an understatement.  At least Levain and Magnolia made up for it.

Other highlights include: Making a wish on top of the Empire State Building at midnight (Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan where you at), Broadway shows, Shake Shack (naturally), and reading books with Charlie at the midtown NY public library.

Last but certainly not least was the 9/11 Memorial. One of my friends had just gone a few weeks before I did and had told me all about it, but I still wasn't prepared for how moving it would be. I could have spent an entire day there.

I'll stop myself here. I spent our entire drive upstate searching for two bedroom apartments on the Upper West and East (one day??) Side because I was convinced our next move needs to be to the city that never sleeps. I heart New York a million times over. And over.

And over.