you're the apple of my eye

February 14, 2011

Considering 70% of my posts have something to do with love, it shouldn't be surprising that it's something I probably think about more often than not -- Valentines Day is obviously no exception.

I've heard love defined by many people in many different ways, and I guess that makes sense because the way I've defined love has changed from the time I was fifteen, or eighteen, and even now at twenty-one. Maybe it's because love will always mean more to me the next year, than it did the year before.

But out of all the different ways I've thought about love, or have been told about love, the following idea about the words "I love you" has always made the most sense to me:

Because love is as much a verb as it is a noun, the phrase “I love you” is much more a promise of behavior and commitment than it is an expression of can’t “fall out of love,” because love is something you decide.-Elder Lynn G. Robbins, "Agency & Love in Marriage"

I think this is perfect.
It means that love isn't fleeting, temporary or even conditional. It means that when things get hard or when I have gray hair, love won't somehow disappear. Those words don't just mean fireworks or boxes of chocolate. They promise something. In fact, they promise a lot. They promise that at the end of the day, things will always be okay. That love is going to take work, but that it is something we will make work day after day. That love is going to be about taking care of each other, even if that means doing things you really don't like to do, (and for me that will probably mean being willing to make something for dinner other than turkey and cheese sandwiches.)

All of that is a lot greater than whatever I had originally imagined love to be at fifteen. Or eighteen.

But it's what I like to think love is at 21.

So for Valentines Day this year, I will spend my time with my mom and dad. And we will watch An Affair to Remember, and my mom will make fun of something dramatic the actress says, and my dad will clear his throat (because that's what he does instead of crying) when Kerry Grant realizes why she couldn't meet him at the top of the Empire State building.

And then my mom might dance during the credits (not unusual).

And then I will go to bed, eating the rest of my Forrero Rochers, thinking about how grateful I am for two parents who love me and who love each other. I'll think about how happy I am for my friends who have found love in their own life, and how excited I am for the love I am going to find one day, too.

(And then I will watch this engagement video over and over again,
because it's darling,

and because I want to copy cat it!)

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

photo via


Katie said...

hey, you're amazing. this is amazing.

Griffin and Gretchen said...

that is beautiful. and makes perfect sense.
p.s. i want to thank you for the ee cummings poem you posted. i used it on my hubby's valentine :)

Jane Garner said...

i love this post on love! and i love your valentine's day plans. and i was at decades the other day around 3:30! when were you there? and yes i love the nightgowns! they really do have some good finds there. the formal gowns crack me up. i am always tempted to buy one, but then i have to remind myself to refrain because i have no use for one. and no i have never heard of ruby snap but now i am dying to try it!

abby | ybba said...

i love this quote!
and yes you have been writing entries about love. which is a good thing {: it's the thing that keeps us going!

i tagged you on my latest post!
check it out over here:
ENJOy! ^__^

ps. i almost didn't recognze your blog cus you changed the layout! LOL

Anonymous said...

hahahaha, i love our parents.

and i love your valentines day.

and i love you.

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